And today I am taking a deep anguish. In 51 years I look at my life and how I lived, and what I found and see? Which basically my life has been lived in the constant breaking experience to see every dream, every desire, every project, every thought and any action in response to the above.
So from my church activities. Study theology, he began working in churches in the conviction that the gospel was something in which people actually believed that there had - good or bad - the understanding and the desire to understand, to grow, to gain new insights and different possible that offered a wider choice of interpretation of himself and his faith. The study of theology in order to acquire the essential tools to give - as much as possible - knowledge of a people, the people who I thought were the people that God had chosen the people who believed God had chosen. And even this has been the experience in which I have found that my thoughts and how I thought it was subsequent to my faith, in fact there is no match and no points of connection with that area church in which I lived struggling and losing.
Losing the theological point of view but also from the point of view, finding myself alone, without a specific finding excluded because, without a specific reason.
Everything that could represent me for my existence in the church and the church was one realize how deluded I was, a dreamer, unable to grasp that and see what presents and proposes, in fact, could be neither accepted nor heard. For most of my life I actually downloaded my guns in the air and give my words to the deaf. But not accusing them of any responsibility, since this is actually my own. I think I messed up some things and not realize immediately that the situation was radically different. My mistake to think that my struggle could lead to something meaningful and important, liberating. It's not that it is served simply was neither necessary nor appropriate. Throw a bucket of water into the sea as the water is soft, does not change the salinity of the sea, if not to an extent so infinitesimal that does not present anything significant in both negatively and positively.
And yet in social work is closely related to my vision teologica, il risultato non è stato diverso. Ho errato a pensare che vi potesse essere un riscatto, che fosse opportuno dare una ulteriore possibilità, che vi potesse essere una qualche possibilità che trionfasse il senso di solidarietà e di civiltà. Ma per chi? A chi è servito? Solo un disastro totale! Invece che vita si è prodotta morte, invece che di solidarietà si è prodotto odio, invece che di coesione si è prodotto divisione. Ed anche qui? Anche qui la responsabilità è solo mia. La mia visione della vita, della storia, della società, della politica, della cultura si collocano così al di fuori della storia e della possibilità, da rappresentare una pura illusione nella quale, mio malgrado, I involved people. I have no pity for the people who have all decided independently and free to follow a dream. This is not the speech. The point is that I faced myself and I take note of my illusion of my inability to be able to see and have been able to see the story for what it was. The stupidity of those who believe that something can change and for this fight fin'oltre possible.
And the betrayals, disappointments, the slurs, the infamy, the use was made of me as a scapegoat are facts that remain, but that does not take away and do not mitigate that I was wrong to believe that it was possible to live in more just and a more just society. And last but
economy. Always the dream, desire, the project that you do not infringe on infattibilità, but not the desire to give opportunities for development. Here, too, my mistake of not wanting to see the story and did not want to take note of history. The story caused, and the veto, despite the excellent design, excellent opportunity to develop different for a more just society. But who cares about a more just society? Was interested in someone, but no one cares and no one (except a few people like me they too blinded by this sense of justice) are interested in only move a finger to do only one step toward a possible better reality. Not the best, but better than what is currently the company, politics, culture and economy. And
are taken by anxiety because I see things that can never be, I believed and believe in things that can not happen, I am overwhelmed by all this hour and full understanding of my uselessness, I have played everything from everywhere.
Perhaps the only real concrete action to do is to stop fighting. Perhaps it is my stop fighting that finally I will be leading this story, in this society, this culture, in this economy.
resigned from life, basically, if it's life then welcome them and take them seriously.
But today I have no sense in fighting and fighting, my anxiety about me from the walls of buildings. Manifesta is my condition who failed to live its entire existence, not producing anything for himself or for others. A nothing, therefore, these years spent, for nothing, then, everything!
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